Paul Slansky
3 min readNov 18, 2022

When Republicans Ask You for Money, Don’t Just Say No

He seems nice

In the pre-digital days, when candidates of the opposite political persuasion tried to get money from you it was by mail, and you could prank them by sending back their solicitation with “FUCK YOU” scribbled over it so they’d be charged for the postage. Blows against the empire!

These days, the relentless beseeching for money comes in twice-daily texts from bots fronting for people whose names you’d prefer to see in messages about their demise. These made-for-morons come-ons are so cretinous that they beg for a reply, and occasionally — maybe once every dozen texts — I’m inspired to respond, knowing full well that my replies will be seen by no one, but satisfied just to imagine them being read by their intended recipients. Take that, You Who Cannot Be Shamed!

With the Florida Man’s low-energy announcement of yet another demented presidential candidacy — the MAGAts would have us believe that his less bombastic tone means he’s finally become presidential — he is the grifter that keeps on grifting. His absurd twice-daily asks continue unabated, as do my periodic ripostes that I post on social media for the entertainment of my friends. Perhaps these will amuse you as well. (Please forgive my occasional typos.)