Paul Slansky
6 min readJan 20, 2021

TRUMP BY THE NUMBERS: THE LAST QUIZ

Please Show Your Work

This is the happiest he’s going to be for the rest of his life

If 545 children who were separated from their parents at the Mexican border may never be reunited with their families, and Donald Trump owes Deutsche Bank more than 300 million dollars, how many very fine people were on the Nazi side in Charlottesville?

If Donald Trump repeatedly said over the years that he’d be unveiling his health plan in 2 weeks, and he claimed that the 2016 election hack could have been done by “somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds,” how many of the world’s nations qualify as “shithole countries”?

If Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger was asked to “find” 11,780 votes that would steal his state’s 16 electoral votes from Joe Biden, and 5 people died during the January 6th invasion of the Capitol, how many Big Macs will Trump stuff himself with in his first post-presidential month? Three months? Year?

If Donald Trump claims to be 3 inches taller than he actually is, and weigh 60 less pounds than he actually does, how many hours of his presidency did he spend watching Fox and Friends?

If Donald Trump won 232 electoral college votes, and the number of representatives voting for his second impeachment was 232, how many times did he suggest that police should treat suspects more roughly?